BORN IN THE SADDLE: GROWING UP IN DERBY COUNTRY

Born in the saddle: Growing up in Derby country

As published in the April edition of News4U Evansville. 
(Read more Comedy and Curiosities HERE.)

I'm a lifelong Hoosier, but I was born in a part of Indiana that's absolutely considered part of the Kentucky Derby metropolitan area. Floyds Knobs, Indiana, is a picturesque community nestled in the hills overlooking Louisville, Kentucky.

The view is beautiful, and if the breeze is just right, you can smell the horse stables from your back porch. When I was young, I remember drinking chocolate milk out of a bourbon glass. Nobody thought that was strange. It was just Saturday.
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Growing up twenty minutes from Churchill Downs means the Kentucky Derby isn't just a horse race. It's a spiritual event. A civic holiday. A reason for adults to wear enormous hats and make terrible financial decisions before noon. Every first Saturday in May, the whole region transforms into a place where it is completely acceptable to bet your CenterPoint Energy bill on a thousand-pound animal you've never met.

The worst thing about the derby season in Derby country...the mint julep.

If you've never had one, allow me to save you the trouble. Someone decided to take perfectly good bourbon and ruin it with mint and sugar water served over crushed ice in a metal cup that freezes faster than your credit score after not hitting the parlay. The
"official drink" was invented in the 1800s. guess people back then knew they were dying soon, and so it didn't matter what it tasted like. The history books will tell you it's a symbol of Southern elegance and tradition. My taste buds will tell you it tastes like a bad decision and wasted money.

Derby parties are the best. Preferably at somebody else's house where everybody has big hats, bigger opinions, and always one guy claiming he has "insider info" from a cousin who once parked cars near a stable. That's the Indiana Way of picking a horse. We're not studying bloodlines or analyzing track conditions. We're going strictly on name and spiritual connection.

If a horse is called Captain Biscuit or Thundercloud Maverick, that majestic creature is getting my money. Do I know his split times? No. Do I care? Absolutely not.

I can tell you that growing up surrounded by Kentucky Derby madness taught me a few simple truths. Fortunes change in two minutes, hats can defy basic aerodynamics, and a grown adult will absolutely cry when a horse named Cinnamon Lightning drops to the back in the final stretch.

My favorite part: for two minutes every May, an entire region willingly loses its mind together.

Danny Browning
Comedian/Humorist

Danny Browning is the owner and lead producer at Laughing Dad Entertainment.
Read more of his thoughts at: 
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https://www.dannybrowning.com/comedyandcuriosities.html

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